My first contact with Buddhism, was through reading my mother's books by Lobsang Rampa, a controversial writer, who though unbelievable now, then inspired a 12 year old with fantastic stories of Tibet and occult mystery. It was at the age of 16 and having undergone the kind of youth, that makes people like me miracles of survival, I was released from a youth detention center (prison for children) and put into a half-way house. I was at the lowest ebb of belief in anything, social, moral, humane and entered a state of depression. For weeks I did not leave my room, but quietly meditated on my own condition and its causes, writing my thoughts down in poetry. At the end of this period I had the most remarkable experience, a kind of break-through into a new understanding of my life and its purpose. I felt I understood my suffering, but had found a reason to be happy. The reason at the time was simply for its own sake, for my sake, to cease worry, to accept my existence, to strive, to make myself better and to help others.

We had a kind of fraternity back then, amongst us children that were abused, imprisoned, neglected and persecuted by authorities that considered us “worthless juveniles”. We looked after each other and found value in compassion for others who suffered. I read every religious, social and philosophical text I could get my hands on. After reading “Cutting through spiritual materialism” by Chogyam Trungpa at 16, my head literally lifted off my shoulders and I new from that moment I was a Buddhist. There were not any Dharma centers in Melbourne, Australia that I knew of at that time, so I just kept reading and practicing myself. It was around this time that I met my first martial arts teacher. I was not at all compassionate or in any way released from my terrible anger and distrust of the world at large. It was common in those days for a group of us to go out and get blind drunk, fighting anybody in the street that even looked at us the wrong way. I was in a fish and chip shop ordering a hamburger and this guy standing next to me really bothered me. I followed him outside and started abusing him, with the intention of beating the crap out of him. He simply smiled at me and said “go home son”, got into his car and drove off. The next day some friends of mine who were there, told me how lucky I was that this guy didn't beat the crap out of me and that he was the teacher at the local Kyokashinkai Karate school. I went to see him that week and apologized for my behavior and asked about training with him. He began to question me in a very insightful way and by the time I left I walked home in tears, as he had hit some raw nerves, that literally undid many of the knots that were holding back my true hidden emotions.

I was not yet healed and would not be for many years, but I was on the way. I started to read Zen and practice sitting. Indeed that was all I did. I still had no real concept of compassion or morality and was hindered by anger, resentment and substance abuse for many years. But I continued, eventually at 21 meeting my Chinese masters, who would train me in Wing Chun and the Mahayana school of Chan/Pureland as practiced at the Shaolin monastery. I found other Dharma teachers in Melbourne later, Venerable Hsin Yun and Venerable Chin Kung. I was also encouraged by these teachings to study Pali and Sanskrit and undertook a series of vipassanna retreats in the Ajahn Cha, Goenka and Mahasi Sayadaw traditions. Now in my early 30's, I decided to come back to study and eventually, started an Arts degree at the University of Newcastle, studying Anthropology, Sanskrit,Pali and Chinese. My original intention was simply to be able to read the texts in their original form and especially to get my head around Pure Land teachings which I had always found difficult to understand and accept. Once I started however, there seemed to be a new goal emerge, which was to seek some “original” and “authentic” Buddhism. I suppose this is one of the traps of the young “Buddhologist”, who thinks that somehow this goal is attainable, let alone through study. In my defense however, I did maintain a kind of anthropological approach of total immersion into the practice of whatever text I was studying.

At the end of my degree I made a number trips to Thailand, underwent more vipassanna at Wat Thamassat and met many more teachers, including Phra Khru Chanwirat (Wat Chetaphon) and Phra Sopit Chotikul (Wat Arun) and undertook a short term of monastic training as a novice, which is common in the Thai culture. I eventually moved to Thailand and taught English for a year in Lampang , spending a lot of time at my two favourite temples, Wat Doi Suthep and Wat Phra Mahathat Lampang Luang and also teaching English to many of the monks there.

At the age of 35 I returned to Melbourne and began an Honours degree in Asian studies at LaTrobe university, continuing my Sanskrit studies and Buddhist studies with professor Greg Bailey, a non-Buddhist academic who challenged every assumption I had hitherto made about Buddhism and gave me a good sense of critical understanding in relation to Sanskrit translation and Buddhist studies in general. Around this time I began to receive teachings from Geshe Doga at Tara Institute in Melbourne, however after reading Sogyal Rinpoche's book I joined the Rigpa Sangha. I also attended attended teachings with Geshe Konchog Tsering (Atisha Institute), Geshe Tashi Tsering, Geshe Jamyang (Chenrezig Institute), Namkai Norbu Rinpoche, Dzogchen Rinpoche, Dzonsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche, HH Sakya Trizin and attended many of the teachings of the Dalai Lama in Sydney and in Melbourne.

In 2009 I completed the three year home retreat with Sogyal Rinpoche, before coming to Indonesia to pursue arts and music recording. I have composed music for as long as I can remember, beginning with songs that I would sing to myself at the age of six, inside massive concrete drainpipes, that I would seek out because the acoustics and echo effect was so amazing. My other studies have been in anthropology of music, Buddhist music, ethnomusicology and especially Asian music. I spent the last year of my studies at Monash University in the music department studying music of Asia and especially Indonesian Gamelan. There is also a strong connection between these studies and Sanskrit culture, which fascinated me. I am also very interested in the ancient history of Indonesia and especially its Hindu/Buddhist background. I currently live in Yogyakarta, Java, Indonesia and spend quite a lot of time at Borobudur, which is one of the most amazing Buddhist monuments in the world.

At present I cannot really say that I am associated with any particular Sangha group or organization. Whilst I am grateful to all of my teachers, at this stage I prefer to follow the path of solitary yogin. I still practice Ngondro, but have no further wish for any more empowerments, rituals, sadhanas or other practices and am content to study and practice on my own. At times I will rejoin with past experiences of vipassanna, zazen and continue to due simple meditation retreats and study the Dharma. I suppose I have decided to take the Buddha's last words to heart “to strive on diligently and take the Dharma as your teacher”. -Mahaparinibbanna sutta